Long weekend

I mean loooong weekend.

To which I was very much looking forward.

I knew I was getting my garden plants. I was also expecting a furniture delivery: tall leather upholstered headboards I’ve been lusting after for three years. They finally went on sale. A month later, I was really getting them. Thrilled.

After a year and a half in this apartment, I wanted to take advantage of my “extra” day to get my balcony all fixed up so I could sit out there and have a nice glass of wine and relax. Perhaps while looking at my new plants.

I moved two Christmases ago, and was still so knackered by early spring, I skipped the pot plants last summer. Now, I had pots, a plan, plants out for delivery –and was ready.

Here’s what happened.

First this:

A rain barrel. Not to collect rain, as I can’t cut into the gutters, but to hold water so I can more easily water my plants without dragging a watering can over two rooms worth of very pale, nearly white carpet.

The bottom spigot took over an hour to get in properly.

I got a blood blister. OUCH.

The furniture delivery showed up. I had paid $80 extra for “white glove” service, which was SUPPOSED TO include delivery to the room of my choice, unpacking, installation, and removal of packing materials. I was all ready with the tips. Me, disabled person, right?

The boxes were delivered in less than three minutes by a sprinter. Two of those minutes were spent in him jonesing for a tip. He didn’t know from nothing about any white gloves. Stare down. No tips.

Here’s my formerly white-ish arm after I unpacked and installed the headboards. Two more hours gone. Did the screw holes line up in the bed frames that came from the same store AND were supposed to go with the headboards? Did they buffalo poop.

Next I hauled up the hose up from the garage to the balcony above to fill the rain barrel. That took about an hour of gradually revealed epic fails as the barrel filled. The bottom valve that bit me .  .  um, LEAKS. So does the top one, but I put teflon tape on the spigot, which fixed it. I also discovered those little nubs on the side are overflows when they, erm, overflowed.

This chair. Cute, right? Retro. Just like one Grandma had. Next job was putting it together, as it came in just about as many pieces as possible.

Here’s how I had to mostly sit while putting the chair together:

Here’s how I had to get up when I figured out my back had seized:

Here’s how I imagined I’d be spending the evening in the chair (sound track: la, la, la):

Here’s what I actually felt like (sound track: morbid groaning):

This how I felt the next day (imagine god-like hand SQUEEZING):

But hey, that stinging nettle leaves + diclofenac trick worked. Hopefully the liver didn’t take a hit. I drank enough booze a little later in this saga to give it a workout.

Oh, then the plants came same day as the headboard disaster. I’ve ordered from this place for years. They are meticulous in their packaging. Except this time.

One of the plants was busted at the base of the stem.

This is how it felt the next day:

One of these pots is not like the other ones. Three the same, one weirdo.

Was it a normal plant, that I could run out to Lowes and replace? Heck no.

Oh well, I trust them. They will make good. (Oh, they just wrote. They can’t ship one plant. I need to order three more. I’ll get one free. Whatever.)

My balcony is almost done. I’ll probably get another chair when I’ve fully recovered. It was the headboards that really did me in.

Here’s my nice chair. There’s an orange thing next to it just begging to hold up a glass of wine.

Time for a Sunday lounge, right? Nope. It’s damp, cold, blustery outside, and at the moment, pouring. Not on the plants though. Them, I have to water by hand. From the leaky barrel.

I’ve got to get back to work and recover from this bloody fantastic weekend. I expect it will be sunny and warm as I glower out my dull office window.

Here’s my shiso plants. That pot worked out well. Shiso (this is the Japanese kind–i think the Korean kind is much larger unless I’m underestimating this plant) is a strong anti-inflammatory, and is noted for promoting healthy, luminous skin. Wonder if it works on great big purple bruises?