Gluten-skittish. Gluten-kittenish, maybe just . . . something you should talk to someone about. Like, a DOCTOR.

frightened kitten

picture of a baugette. Thanks, morguefile.com!
Some fine gluten. No butter.

I have a colleague at work who  eats no gluten. She has told me this fact many times. She and her daughter are both ‘highly’ allergic. (her term for it)

One day, at a lunch meeting, I see her cramming — descriptive verb, not bitchy — a third of a wheat baguette into her mouth.

“I thought you were allergic to gluten,” I said, watching the carnage.

“Oh, no,” she said. “It doesn’t bother me when there’s lots of butter on it.”

“The what?” I thought. What I said was actually bitchy:

“Oh, so you’re just a tourist then.”

Not a lot of conversation with that person since then. It could have been worse. I could have said “Acting all ‘g’winnie is not going to make you be more like her.”

A friend sent me this:

Here’s another. Ask a a gluten fashionista/o this question:

If you want to know what a gluten allergy looks like, give me some gluten, and I’ll puke on your shoes. I like being unambiguous in my presentations.

Cripes. No wonder servers in restaurants can be so hostile.

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